Jun
28
Exactly what stories were given to Noah on Mount Sinai?
Filed Under Religion & Spirituality | 3 Comments
I didn’t feel like including this in the title, because I don’t want christians too discouraged from responding and giving me the “official” picture of things, but I’ll give you an “if it really happened” clause, because I’m not trying to procure an objective absolute truth and learn that there was 20 gallons of fermented goat’s milk on that mountain, I’m just trying to get a christian citation of what they think was given to Moses.
Bah, obvious slip there, yes, I’m reffering to Moses, was just writing about the logistics of building a boat of 1,518,750 cubic feet elsewhere… And the bible implies that he was given the law, which could be interpereted to mean the entire Torah/old testament as it often is, or could just be his 600 something laws… But as authoriship of Genesis as a whole at very least is usually attributed to this.
TYSON
Apr
4
Asr be kheyr! (Good Evening)
Dear esteemed, friends: Will you join me in my summer vacation home on Mount Damavand, it is a small brown hut, reflecting the brown persian tribe living inside, for a shish-kebab party? It is my birthday, yay! You must greet my with
“Tavalodat mobarak”- happy birthday, or I shall boil your eyes in my urine! heheheh… Just kidding, I will not do that. I will however spit on your face for failing to greet me.
We shall have lamb ********* cooked in rice with raisins and beef kabobs piled on the finest of silver platters. My hashish stockpile is also exquisite, we shall trip the night away on my fine narghilahs crafted of silver and ibex horn.
We shall slake our thirst on kumiss , our concoction of fermented horse milk. And snack on the noblest of foods, the cashew.
We will retell battles and legends of the past. We will always end our stories with: “Oh, Cyrus, we shall re-establish your domain!”
Come my friends, my stone grill grows cold.
BARRY
Mar
21
If someone who isn’t in your religion tries to tell everyone what your religion is about?
Filed Under Religion & Spirituality | 30 Comments
Is it fair to return the favor?
If so, then I would like to let everyone know that Fundamentalists (who’ve said I worship Satan) pickle baby sheep and eat them with fermented yak milk every Saturday.
Have a nice weekend! This *drink* is on me! And feel free to start your own viscious religious rumor.
DOMINICK