Russian T asked:


Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words “Putrid,” “hORRId,” and “sluDGE.”

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog won’t eat.

Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the psychological boundary between a cut of beef and a hunk of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

VICTOR

9 Responses to “Do You Have This Cooking Glossary?”

1. brneyedgirl on September 3rd, 2009 12:06 am

   This was great!!

2. Nancy M on September 5th, 2009 3:03 pm

   Good and interesting.

3. saint G on September 8th, 2009 7:45 pm

   nah. we learn everyday.

4. Poe on September 11th, 2009 4:18 am

   I do now..thanks…It’s “hairy-larious”lol lol..will come in handy..

5. Kitty on September 14th, 2009 3:30 am

   Lol! sounds about right to me!

6. moonshine057 on September 17th, 2009 10:06 am

   haha..I’ll have to remember that.

7. jessie on September 19th, 2009 4:52 am

   ummm very interesting……………… but funny!

8. OutstandingStar* on September 19th, 2009 6:39 am

   very interesting. i love it

9. ve9hn on September 22nd, 2009 1:33 pm

   The other glossaryfunny tho.